When it comes to tending to your soft skills, it pays to make it a never-ending quest. As just about every life coach once said, “if you’re not moving forward, you’re falling behind.”
The hard facts about soft skills are how they impact job performance and your prospects as a leader. While technical proficiencies and advanced degrees help open doors, the ability to move forward and upward is bolstered by how well you interact among coworkers. These soft skills—transferable attributes that affect your demeanor and disposition—power you toward a more enriched career and—um, life in general. It’s true: the following core soft skills don’t only pertain to work. They go to the heart of how well we engage with the people and world around us.
Active listening
Active listening is not only waiting for your turn to speak; it’s listening with a purpose—listening with the intention to understand what the person is telling you with and without words.
Next time someone opens up with you, stay in the moment. Pay attention to the words, timing, pauses, and emotion. If there’s a pause, validate what they said, and repeat back their version of what they told you. Active listening involves absorbing and processing what people are saying, and demonstrating how their message is affecting you.
Effective communication
Expert communicators are those who get their message to listeners so they understand it. They do it directly and succinctly.
When you consider that “expert communicators” are defined as those who are highly skilled at getting their points across, than it’s easy to see why strong communication skills aren’t something anyone is born with. Communicating well is a learned discipline, which also means you can always strive toward improvement.
To improve your communication skills, start with a simple tip: pause. It’s the ol’ “think before you speak” concept: Before you deliver your point, try counting a few beats before you deliver. You might be surprised by how many thoughts come up in three seconds. More important, you’ll be able to better frame what you need to say.
Leverage your pause to think about what you’re about to say and then . . . start at the top of your message.
Emotional intelligence
“Anybody can become angry—that is easy,” Aristotle wrote. “But to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”
In simple terms, tears indicate sadness and smiles convey happiness, but improving your own emotional intelligence involves going deeper—a foresight to navigate social situations and make complex choices that involve other points of view.
Emotional intelligence is the skilled coordination between feelings and logic; it guides relationships, behaviors, actions, and our healthy development. It’s also being attuned to your emotions, the feelings of others, and then demonstrating care.
Emotional intelligence is among the most important factors in a successful career. The more we work at it, the better we can help everyone around us interact in meaningful ways.
When you’re able to pick up on the obvious (and dubious) signals people send, you’re more equipped to foster stronger connections, build trust, and be recognized as a thoughtful, sincere human. People skilled in bridging the gap from person to person are not only able to connect and communicate on a deeper level; they great at building teams.
Servant leadership
Servant leadership is a way to describe the quality of those who enrich the lives of people around them. By walking the talk (as all great leaders do), servant leadership goes a long way in fostering a well-functioning organization.
Naturally, leadership styles vary, but the ones with an innate motivation to help others shine are considered servant leaders. Consistently listening to others is second nature to servant leaders. Their listening and empathizing are key to how they facilitate the growth in people around them.
Servant leadership goes beyond “corporate values”; they’re vested in promoting a workplace culture or environment that supports performance, collaboration, and camaraderie.