All sorts of subtle and not-so-subtle visual cues convey information about mood, comfort, trust, and emotions, which are always being interpreted whether we realize it or not. It’s one thing to recognize others’ body language in order to read the room, but what can we do for ourselves? To help send the right message in the workplace (and everywhere else for that matter), these six ideas can help keep our nonverbal habits in check.
1. Facial expressions: open up!
One of the best ways to say, “I’m approachable” is to greet others with an open face. That is, keep your head up, eyes wide open, eyebrows at attention, and—yes—smile (or look as if you’re about to). It’s the opposite of the resting “bored” face; alertness adds warmth and sincerity and lets others know you’re either engaged in the moment or certainly open to it. Bonus tip: When the going gets tough, start smiling. Smiles have a way of reducing stress for you and the people around you.
2. Sit (or stand) up straight.
Aside from being good for your spine and core, sitting up with your shoulders back conveys that you’re alert, confident, positive, and approachable. When you’re sitting up straight, it means your shoulders are square and your head is upright. Bringing your shoulders back might take practice; as a good-posture visualization tip, imagine squeezing an orange between your shoulder blades.
3. Be unafraid to claim your space.
Old ideas about appropriate personal space have a new friend in the protocols of social distancing. Not only is it important to be aware of how close you need to be to the person you’re talking to, but a courteous proximity also means you can give yourself more space during meetings or group gatherings. How you give yourself ample space inspires productive energy. The reverse of this is equally important: Hunching your shoulders reduces your size and suggests you’d rather be somewhere else. The way you take up space when sitting and standing lets people know you’re truly present, you belong, and you’re ready to contribute.
4. If handshakes make a comeback, be firm.
The pandemic might have changed the handshake forever, but keep in mind the best grip is firm and steady but not so overpowering that it’s painful or off-putting for the other person. Important: Smile and maintain eye contact. If an elbow or fist bump is in play, be all in. Commit and follow-through to a gentle tap or bump; go easy but never leave the other person hanging or guessing.
5. Go ahead, talk with your hands.
Punctuating your speech with appropriately placed hand gestures lets others know you’re truly into what you’re saying. Experts say gesturing communicates interest, improves credibility, and even helps you think more clearly (or gets the words out, at least). But gesturing too much can be distracting, too. What’s too much? Keep hand gestures below the shoulders; flailing arms are for distress or emergencies.
6. Active listening involves body language, too.
Because the common theme with great body language is engagement, remember eye contact. It shouts, “I’m listening.” Also, consider leaning toward the person who’s speaking to you. It shows you’re attentive. And don’t hesitate to mirror aspects of the speaker’s body language; it can show you’re jibing and connecting. If you notice the other person’s body language suggests nerves or uncertainty, help put them at ease through gestures or body position that communicates you’re welcoming and receptive, not a threat.