Stress serves an important role in our well-being as a way of protecting ourselves from threats—regardless of whether those threats are real or perceived.

While our natural stress response is a good thing, it can become problematic when we don’t close the stress response cycle, leaving us in a state of persistent, chronic stress. Our bodies aren’t designed for chronic stress; they’re designed to return to a normal state once a threat has passed.

What is the stress cycle, and what does it mean to not close the cycle?

The stress cycle is a series of phases the body goes through in response to a threat:

  1. Neutral state—before a threat has been perceived.
  2. Beginning—a threat has been perceived.
  3. Middle—fight or flight response.
  4. End—the threat has passed, and the body returns to a neutral state.

Back in the days of hunting and gathering, if a hunter happened upon a lion, his stress response would kick in to protect himself. Once he was out of danger, his body would return to a neutral state because there was a clear end to the threat.

Nowadays, stressors look less like lions and more like endless to-do lists, deadlines, traffic, financial fears, and other issues that result in ongoing perceived threats, meaning that many of us remain in a constant state of stress.

Even if we eliminate the stressor, that doesn’t mean our bodies have processed the stress itself, and the stress response cycle remains open.

When we fail to close the cycle, it means that our bodies have not recognized that we are now safe. Instead, we stay in the fight or flight response. Remaining in this state of chronic stress over time can wreak havoc on our mental, cognitive, and physical function, resulting in symptoms and conditions such as anxiety, depression, difficulty sleeping, fatigue, headaches, irritability, social isolation, stomach pain or nausea, and weight gain or loss.

How do you close the stress response cycle when there isn’t a clear end to a threat or perceived threat?

In Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, authors Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski identify physical activity as the number one way to close the stress response cycle. They recommend getting 20 to 60 minutes of physical activity per day; most of us experiences stressors every day, so an ongoing effort to close the stress cycle will serve us best.

Any kind of physical activity works to help close the stress response cycle. If the idea of physical activity stresses you out, fear not. Aim for any movement that gets you breathing more deeply.

While physical activity is believed to be the best way to close the stress response cycle, it’s not the only way. Other ways recommended by the Nagoski sisters include:

  • Breathing. I know, I know. You’re probably over this whole idea of “just take a breath” when the stressors feel so much bigger than that. But remember that this is just one tool in your toolbox. Here’s a simple breathing exercise to try.
  • Feel-good social time. This doesn’t need to be anything extravagant. Practice giving kudos at the beginning of meetings, compliment someone as you pass them in the hall, or take a few minutes to share funny stories.
  • Laughter. Dump the polite chuckles and go for the deep belly laughs. It doesn’t matter what you’re laughing at. If you’re laughing hard enough that you might be a little embarrassed, then you’re doing it right! (And you don’t need to be embarrassed—it’s endearing!)
  • Affection. There’s a reason why when things are tough, hugs and snuggles make us feel better. The idea is to share affection with someone you love and trust, who helps you feel safe. Don’t forget fur babies—petting your dog or cat works, too.
  • Crying it out. Have you ever gotten to a point where all you could do was laugh or cry? Both are great ways to close the stress response cycle. While crying might not deal with the stressor, it can help you close the cycle and give your body some peace.
  • Getting creative. Draw, paint, write, play an instrument, sing—whatever your preferred method of creative expression looks like, go for it! Expressing ourselves creatively is a great way to process big emotions that we might not otherwise know what to do with.

There are lots of ways we can close the stress cycle so that our bodies aren’t just walking pots of boiling stress hormones. The kicker is that we must do something because simply trying to convince ourselves that we’re OK and everything’s OK just isn’t enough.

It’s OK to not be or feel OK.

For more research-supported information about closing the stress response cycle and preventing burnout, check out Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA (2019).