With months of a global pandemic to learn from, we continue to see how family gatherings spread the virus, sometimes with fatal consequences.

Think long and hard about what’s right for you and your loved ones. The number of people attending (and for how long), how crowded the room, what people were doing before the gathering, and the behavior during the gathering all factor into the safety of a holiday get-together.

If you’ve ever wanted an excuse to get out of a holiday gathering, this is the year.

But don’t let COVID crush your holiday spirit. When it comes to COVID-19, knowledge is power. That’s why we’ve compiled nine things to know—and knowledge you can spread—to reduce stress and help protect everyone you hold dear for what we hope is a beautiful time of year:

  1. COVID doesn’t care how safe you “feel” around family. People mistakenly assume they’re safe with close relatives and then don’t wear masks or keep their distance. It’s one of the reasons why family gatherings—especially now that Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, and New Year’s are just about here—means we might need to have some possibly uncomfortable conversations about keeping one another safe.
  2. Each person’s possible exposure gets shared with everyone at the dinner table. Your grandmother doesn’t need to be going to bars to get COVID at a bar. She could get it from your cousin who was clubbing the week before. That’s right: Your cousin could be unknowingly spreading the virus.
  3. If an in-person gathering must go on, set clear expectations. If everyone’s committed to getting the family together, set ground rules about what needs to happen to ensure everyone’s safety. This includes sheltering in place for at least 10 days before your holiday event.
  4. If you’re planning to host a holiday gathering, get started by staying at home (and avoiding travel). Be aware of your actions every day leading up to being together. Having all family members minimize additional activities in the weeks leading up to any gathering will decrease the risk of unknowingly carrying and spreading the virus to vulnerable family members. Because everyone needs to commit to the same rules, trust and honesty are crucial.
  5. Traveling is a risk. Always an individual decision, traveling long distances for holidays is not a good idea when older and more vulnerable family members will be part of the holiday plans. People often have incidental or unanticipated physical contact during travel; the last thing you want is to have unplanned, high-risk contacts that expose the family.
  6. If the plan is for you to travel, here’s your checklist to be smart and strategic:
    • Short flights are better than long ones.
    • Wear a face mask while you’re traveling at all times.
    • If others aren’t wearing a mask, wear eye protection as well a mask.
    • Quarantine for at least seven days after you arrive to your destination.
  7. Stick to a set of rules for the day everyone’s around: Wear face masks (when not eating, of course), stay at least six feet apart, open windows, and keep gatherings in the largest room of the home.If you can, socialize and eat outside. Better yet, share the following checklist and have everyone agree:
    • The number of people will be limited to eight
    • Skip hugs, kisses, and handshakes
    • Everyone will wear masks when they’re not eating or drinking
    • People from separate households will stay at least six feet apart
    • Windows will stay open to increase air circulation
    • Everyone will wash their hands often
    • Use the paper towels near the sink, so you’re not drying your hands with a shared towel
    • Seating will be staggered to keep separate households six feet apart during dinner
    • One person will be assigned to place food on everyone’s plate, so no one is sharing utensils
    • Use disposable plates, flatware, cups, and napkins
    • Because alcohol affects inhibitions, decide if the holidays will be alcohol-free
  8. It’s a mistake to assume everyone has the same definition of “careful.” This leads to misunderstandings, which could put people in uncomfortable “peer pressure” situations. Have candid discussions about each person’s requirements and what everyone’s expectations are. Default to the standards of the most cautious person in your group. If there’s unease or disagreement, encourage risk-adverse people to stay home to join by Zoom.
  9. Get creative. For those choosing to remain in their own distant bubble, try setting up a family recipe swap so everyone gets to make the same family favorites. There’s also the option to drop off favorite foods to older relatives. Or set up a Zoom hour topped off with a family movie night where everyone watches a favorite holiday movie while chatting online.

Please follow all current COVID-19 safety protocols when engaging in activities with others.